Things I learned when my mom passed
When my momma suffered her brain aneurysm everything I knew and thought had changed. As the days went by and we sat in the hospital hoping for a miracle I was devastated but yet wouldn’t allow myself to see an end. I didn’t see the end until the 10 days were over and she wasn’t going to be leaving the hospital with us. The anger that has yet to ease up set in. My family and I had a new world and we were part of the grieving community. My momma would never want us to sit in the sadness and would want us to keep going, stronger. I don’t think anyone can plan for such pain but I do hope to help others in some way.
These are just a few things that I learned when my mom passed:
Take the pictures. You often hear people say to live in the moment, which will be another point but also take pictures of the people you care about. It may take some time to look at them, but you will want them.
Keep voicemails. I have yet to be able to listen to my moms, but someone told me this when she passed, and they are forever saved.
A lot of strong feelings are going to come out. Don’t push away your support system. I have to remind myself of this everyday.
Disconnect and spend quality time with your people. Put the phone down. I was so involved in my own life that I wish I had made more time to visit my parents. I think this is a common thought when someone close to you passes. I know you can’t live in the guilt forever.
Take a bigger interest in your loved ones’ outlets. I had preconceived ideas of some of her favorite movies and her pastimes. Now that she has passed I am trying harder than ever to connect to her, finding out more about the things she loved.
Work for a company that appreciates you. When my mom had her brain aneurysm my bosses took care of everything. I couldn’t think about anything but what was right in front of me. My boss and coworkers found coverage for all my shifts, sent only their love and to top it off set up a give back day for my family. I felt supported from all states and will never be able to truly thank them for all they did.
Change the setting on your phone to keep text messages forever. This allows you to be the one that deletes them, not just your phone automatically doing it. I found this out the hard way when all texts from her were no longer there.
Go at your own pace. This is your journey. No one can tell you what is right or wrong.